Having just come through the long, grey days of January, I think it is forgivable for us to be more focused on self preservation than engaging in acts of kindness. I have witnessed a lot more short tempers than I have selfless acts in support of others and confess that I may have contributed less than positive vibes sometimes too. Maybe that’s just the reason we all need this month’s #FabFeat “pillar of positivity” – PRACTICING ACTS OF KINDNESS.
The wonderful part about practicing acts of kindness is that not only does it improve the lives of those you help, it has also been found to benefit you as the giver of kindness. This isn’t surprising; everyone can think of a time when they experienced that warm glow after assisting another – friend or stranger. Recently, research into acts of kindness have provided more information about how best to maximize the positive outcomes. For instance, when the acts are performed together, they provide the giver with greater joy. When the kinds of activities are varied, the benefits are again multiplied as we become less acclimated to doing the same thing all the time.
Performing acts of kindness also has a positive impact on our perception of ourselves as compassionate people resulting in feeling more useful, confident, and optimistic. In turn, others are inspired by your example making practicing acts of kindness a contagious activity; you can help others reap the benefits of kindness in a “pay it forward” kind of upward spiral.
I have always been the kind of person who wants to support others. I am an avid volunteer and intuitively know when someone needs a little TLC. My 50 Feats adventures allowed me to find new ways to practice this pillar, from building a playground to planting trees to working with kindergarten kids learning about science. Each activity provided me with yet another benefit of practicing acts of kindness: social connection. I fondly remember the conversation I had with the Motts employee from Georgia who had immigrated to the States and was thrilled to be able to give back by building the playground as part of their corporate initiative. I smile as I think about the expressions of awe on the faces of those little scientists as I played marine biologist Sue holding up the octopus and learning as much from them as they did from me. Interestingly, these acts cost me exactly zero dollars; my time and interest were the only assets I needed to bring to the table.
Practicing acts of kindness can be easily included in your daily activities. Below are few ideas that might “jump start” your practice:
Random Acts of Kindness: Think about how you might engage in a few small (or large) acts every week. Track them in a journal to remind yourself of these activities and reflect on how it felt to help someone else.
Spending Money on Others: This activity doesn’t involve a lot of money. Research has found that spending as little as five dollars on others can increase your (and their) happiness levels. Buy coffee for the person behind you in the drive through, leave a five dollar bill in your favourite book at the bookstore for the person who buys it, smile and say hello to a stranger. It’s just that simple.
Random Acts of Kindness week runs from February 12 – 17, 2017. Visit https://randomactsof.us/ for more information and join me in sharing your own ACTS OF KINDNESS through the following:
Post a picture, video, or note on the Facebook page: Fabulous Feats.
Tweet out your experience with using: #FabFeats
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
– Leo Buscaglia
If I asked people who know me to describe me, I suspect many would mention my smile and a laugh that is loud, heartfelt, and contagious. In the past when I have done presentations about living with depression and anxiety, I have received comments that I don’t “look like a depressed person.” My response is always the same: “I’m not a depressed person, I am a happy person with a depressive disorder.”
attuned to threats to survive, unfortunately, even though we no longer regularly battle wild animals for survival, our brains are still wired towards a negative focus. The practice of gratitude reconnects us to an awareness of the positives in life.
Practicing Gratitude: According to Robert Emmons, gratitude is “a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.” For me, it involved giving back to my community, particularly in recognition of the privilege I enjoy. My passion in mental health was reflected in my contributions to the Women and Wellness fundraiser through Canadian Mental Health Association – Niagara Branch. My wish to support those living without the basic life necessities that we take for granted including food and shelter led me to volunteer with the great people at Start Me Up Niagara and the Coldest Night of the Year walk as well as the Niagara Region when it conducted its first point-in-time survey of homelessness. The wonderful 100 Women Who Care – Niagara further showed me both the needs within my community and the positive difference a small group of people can have when they come together for a common cause. Research more reliable than my own experiment has identified the benefits of practicing gratitude to be higher self-esteem, energy, and hopefulness; increased ability to cope with stress; decreased envy, loneliness, and anxiety; and a building of social bonds. I know that as I look back, these outcomes resonate with me.
create our own silver linings. One of my favourite feats continues to be when Christian and I got matching semi-colon tattoos symbolizing the importance of recognizing mental illness as a pause in the story and not the end. Equally as memorable was my opportunity to meet Dr. Barbara Fredrickson (I call her my “rock star researcher”) whose Broaden and Build Theory was foundational to my 50 Feats; she posits that positive emotions like joy, contentment, and love help people to be open to new ideas (broaden) that, in turn, allows individuals to grow their physical, intellectual, and social resources (build) which can later be drawn upon for coping and resilience in the face of challenges. In addition, cultivating optimism has been found to support the achievement of goals, positive mood, and high energy. I feel strongly that my own positive focus has been the driving force for my psychological growth and ability to bounce back – Thanks Barbara!
blog inspired them to donate in my stead) to building a playground with likeminded strangers to planting trees to reduce my carbon footprint, I accomplished these fabulous feats spending zero dollars in the process showing that such acts are accessible and possible for everyone. Reviewing the benefits of elevated happiness, increased compassion, social connection, confidence, and optimism, I wholeheartedly believe I was the benefactor in every case.
riding, learning to cook, or touring local sites and sounds of Niagara, the experience was enhanced because I was sharing it with others. According to research, those who cultivate connections have the benefit of strengthened immune systems, longer life, lower levels of anxiety and depression, and greater empathy. Excitingly, the positive results of nurturing social relationships are bi-directional which means that not only was I made happier by my connections, but, as a more positive person, I also enjoy a greater likelihood of acquiring new friends.
growth and transformation. In some instances, my “feats” were very specific to me: the makeover that invaded my peri-personal space; travelling alone to Ottawa; and successfully navigating the mental health system of “hospital-land” with my son. In each case, I emerged with a sense of meaning and purpose, one of the benefits supported by the research into coping strategies.
My nose piercing still glints at me every morning when I look in the mirror and, if I close my eyes, I can feel the whoosh and hear the roar of the wind as I ziplined down the Niagara gorge. Savouring is the gift that keeps on giving.
From the mental health perspective, I pursued mindful activities including drumming, meditation, and, my favourite, kickin’ back in Kauai in support of reduced stress, stronger immunity, and just plain slowing down in a world that sometimes feels like it moves at warp speed. Finally, I explored what Sonja Lyubomirsky describes as the “search for meaning in life through something that is larger than the individual self.” In my case, it was not connected to organized religion (although I wholly support others who choose this path), but through considering various aspects of spirituality including a retreat at a spiritual centre on the one hand, and a psychic reader on the other. Of note is the prediction from Jewelee that my next position would involve “travelling from one place to another” rather than working at a single location; my time is now spent visiting clients in the community to support their health and wellbeing as an Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) member which infuses my soul with meaning and purpose every day.
I didn’t think much more about it until my older son introduced me to November’s National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo as it is affectionately called. The idea behind NaNoWriMo is to spend the month of November working towards the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel by 11:59 PM on November 30. There are groups all over the world that you can join for the month to engage in mutual encouragement, writing sessions, and friendly competition on your way to the 50,000 word count.
Nonetheless, I was inspired to think about writing from the perspective of a focused process. If there was a venue for novel writing, perhaps there was also a gathering for non-fiction writers. I did a little research and discovered National Nonfiction Writing Month (NaNonFiWriMo), a contest that parallels NaNoWriMo in its challenge to non-fiction writers to write 50,000 words in 30 days during November and, thereby, completing a book. I immediately signed up to participate. During November, 
My son has continued to attend the group sessions leading up to NaNoWriMo and excitedly awaits the November 1st start. Today he told me that the members of his group invited me to attend any of their writing days despite my genre of non-fiction; to them, it is all about the writing and the joy associated with producing your own creation, from a blank page to a book of adventure. We all have that essence and resolve in common.
After my recent adventure at the Niagara Falls Museum, I was excited about having a little more culture with a dash or two of fun this week. My work friend (having passed FabFeats initiation with “flying” colours as my zip line compadre) suggested that we check out the final night of Open Late at the St. Catharines Museum and Welland Canal Centre. The advertisement promised food, music, and the opportunity to participate in “audience-led museum tours as co-curators” for the reasonable price of five dollars.
we could not ask him any questions (or at least, that if we did, he would provide no answers) and there was no touching any of the objects. With this segue, he noted that one of our group members had located the first mystery item by resting her purse on it while she took off her coat. With a little laugh, and a touch of embarrassment, she withdrew her purse and Adrian asked who might like to read the first description. My friend stepped up immediately and told us that the big yellow metal object was, in fact, a buoy that had been in the waters of the canal. Or was it? The next story told of a war time air raid siren. We looked closely at (but didn’t touch) the item for clues as to its actual origin. Someone commented on the black hose at the bottom; another suggested the heavy metal did not look very buoyant. Adrian just smiled and lead us to the next mystery item.
For the next 30 minutes we weaved our way through the museum, studying an early 1900’s picture (does it depict rum runners or canal workers?), a wooden cone that opened into tiny parts (a model of volume or the conical portion of an eye?), a pair of glasses (to whom did they belong?), and a travelling chest (while it turned out not to belong to an unlucky seafarer who was on board not one, not two, but three vessels that ended in tragedy – including the Titanic – the story itself turned out to be true). During our travels, we developed a kind of camaraderie as we shared our
thoughts and had a few laughs along the way. As we came to the final stop, Adrian recapped our items and possible provenance. The group then chose based on our best sleuthing skills; the majority of us correctly answered four of the five, with only one woman not tripped up by the sneaky positioning of the glasses beside the Lightening Fastener exhibit causing us to wrongly select Gideon Sundback as their owner. Before we departed, Adrian had us all raise our right hands and swear to maintain the “mysteries” of the evening and reveal nothing to future participants.
set.
not more people in attendance. I particularly enjoyed Beth’s explanations of the background to her various lyrics; for me, it really is all about the story. Reluctantly, my friend and I slipped away after a few more songs in order to make our way home before too late an hour (which, I might add, is definitely different at 51 than it was at 21!).
Stamford Town Hall on Ferry Street, it received a 12 million dollar renovation in 2012 in order to properly preserve and house its more than 26,000 artifacts. I am embarrassed to say that in all the years I have lived in Niagara Falls, I have never visited the museum. When Culture Days advertised a behind the scenes tour, I decided it was time to check it out.
nformation, and Maja said that she would talk to her Manager and get back to me. It was only when I began to write this blog that I realized the Culture and Museum Manager is someone I know through his wife and mother, both of whom I worked with at Brock University. Once again, It seems to me that the Universe has chosen to send its intentions my way.
guide, joined us to begin the tour. We were quite a heterogeneous group: Christian and me, several middle-aged women, an elderly couple, a Dad and his young daughter. Christine took us to the elevator and we descended to the basement storage area. She explained to us that their recent renovations had allowed the museum to properly store the variety of pieces – from ploughs to chairs to pictures to taxidermied animals and birds. My favourite was Skipper, a dog born without front legs whose owner had fashioned a wheeled apparatus so he could get around on his own. After his death (from natural causes we were assured), the owner, who was a taxidermist, mounted both Skipper and his skeleton, which were preserved for future generations like us to see.
concept using as an example a small scrap of material that became part of the collection. Through research and enhanced preservation techniques, this piece of crumpled uniform was restored and identified by the type of wool and buttons used to be that of an officer; a further investigation found two officers who had died in this battle. This item now tells its important and personal story to the visitors of the museum about the War of 1812 through a real soldier’s exp
erience.
redevils, including Nick Wallenda’s 2012 walk “over the mighty Niagara Falls” as is captioned in the signed poster displayed upstairs. I gravitated to an interactive exhibit that allowed visitors to try their own hand (or more appropriately, feet) at traversing the Falls on a tightrope. My silly antics again received laughs from the boy, who was easily coaxed into taking my picture.
After a few minutes, Sherman stood at the top of the stairs and began our tour with a description of the Clifton Town Hill that housed the area’s butcher shops. We started a slow stroll towards our next destination and I fell into conversation with a woman who told me she had been a bookkeeper at Rosbergs before it closed. She also shared her fond memories of her time at the store. During the presentation, one of the Rosbergs’ grandsons who had come specifically for the tour, also contributed to the conversation.
Our next stop was the old post office in Niagara Falls. It’s claim to fame was its inclusion in the Marilyn Monroe movie Niagara, where she was filmed walking up the stairs. A beautiful old building, it was under some renovations; one woman said that she thought she had seen a person in one of the upper windows – a worker or someone from the past?
e United States and Canada over the years. While many of the hotels had closed or burned down over the years, he described the bustling business that had been part of the core of Niagara Falls in its heyday. For me, it was a beautiful reminder of why I am a proud resident of Niagara Falls. One of the participants asked if our guide had written any books about the area and, with a humble smile, Sherman told us there were a few. 
when a friend at work wanted to go on the new Niagara Falls zip line in celebration of a significant birthday, my initial response was a quickening of my pulse at the mere thought of it. However, as Elisha Goldstein suggests, ” life begins at the edge of your comfort zone,” and instead of backing away, I told her I was in!
The MistRider Zipline to the Falls is new this summer. It advertises “an amazing rush to soar high and fast towards the breathtaking natural Niagara Falls phenomenon.” There are four 2,200 feet zip lines that run parallel to each other through the river gorge that promised a perfect view of the Canadian and American falls.
ed the others who were part of the 5 p.m. group.
I watched the attendants leaning casually against the glass partition between the platform and the sky and felt my heart beat faster. For the first time since arriving, I quietly said, “I’m afraid of heights.” Just a statement, not a game changer. I became a little more anxious as we donned our gear – a durable (I hoped) canvas seat and harness that you stepped into, clipped here and there around your body and attached to the pulley attached to the zip line. I half- jokingly asked the attendant to reassure me that they hadn’t lost anyone yet. She looked to be less than half my age; she smiled and put her hand on my should telling me, “You got this.” I wasn’t entirely sure this statement was true, but I was strapped in and ready to go; at this point there was only one 
way down.
d been. Shirley and I remained at the bottom for some time enjoying a view of the he Falls from a vantage point that one of the attendants said had not been open to the public for more than 30 years. Finally we conceded to get on the shuttle that took us back up the gorge. We looked at the pictures Shirley had taken and realized they were at least as good, if not better, than any we would have purchased, and we saved money in the end.
SilverLiningFrog 